Friday, September 23, 2011

May the Farcebook Be With You


It’s day three of my personal rebellion against the evil empire of Facebook (FB), and it’s leader, Darth Zuckerburg.  Permit me, if you will, to recap the events which have occurred up until now.
Wednesday morning I logged into FB to check my news feed, and it was gone.  In its place was something called ‘the ticker’ accompanied by the promise of more mischief.  I blogged about it, and considered dumping FB once and for all.
Thursday Darth Zuckerburg went live online to announce the release of his new and improved Evil Social Network, which resulted in the beginning of the Clown Wars.  Darth Zuckerburg (DZ – not to be confused with Dead Zone, although the resemblance is uncanny and the two are easily confused) boldly activated his com unit, holographic projector and light saber, and began to outline the beginning of the end of the world as we know it.  We would be able to spy on our friends, gather data on their viewing and listening habits, and plot the data on charts.  Every instance of personal security anyone has ever implemented to protect their FB data stream would now be displayed for all the world to see, stretching back, in some cases, to when FB really was just about networking with friends and the world was a kinder, gentler place.
Social networking was not as clumsy or random as a blaster; but rather an elegant weapon for a more civilized age. For over a thousand generations, the Status Posters were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times... before the Empire.  Before the Ticker.
I did the inevitable.  I wrote another blog, deactivated my FB account and moved over to Google+ (g+) where I found a cold, dark planet ripe for colonization, evolution, growth, and best of all, in a galaxy far, far away from the one ruled by Darth Zuckerman and his evil empirical Partners, Timelines and Tickers.  Here there were neither Friends nor the archetypical Close Friends.  G+ has Circles.  And g+ for some unknown reason looks a lot like DZ’s new and improved FB.  Except g+ doesn’t suck while FB with its constantly changing alliances and annoyances sucks big time.
And today is day three.  I find I’m not suffering from withdrawal, and my anxiety faded quickly when I logged onto g+ and discovered it was just where I’d left it, looking just like it did when I put it to bed last night.  I still don’t know many people there, and I’m still exploring hidden passageways with my trusty swiss army knife and boy scout flashlight.  g+ has an EDIT button!
There is an interesting similarity I’ve discovered.  DZ listens to my complaints and concerns every bit as much on g+ as he did on FB, which is to say, not at all!  So I feel right at home.  Except for the mostly empty circles, that is, and the constant uneasy feeling that Big Brother is looking over my shoulder.  Then again, it’s only my third day here, and I gave DZ half a decade.
So shout it out, g+ers.  Can you hear me now?  I can hear you.
And may the Farce be with you  Or should that be, My the Farcebook Be With You!
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